Most People Don’t Actually Want Change - Until Life Gives Them No Choice

There’s a lie we tell ourselves.

We walk around saying things like:

“I want to change.”

“I’m ready to level up.”

“I want more out of life.”

But most of the time…that’s not true.

Most people don’t actually want change.

They want comfort with better results.

They want the outcome, not the discomfort.

They want the growth, not the stretch.

They want the breakthrough, not the friction.

I see it every day:

• in execs who feel stuck

• in athletes who want a PB

• in parents trying to reset their lives

• and in myself when I’m not brutally honest
  

We think we’re chasing change.

But what we’re really chasing is certainty.

Here’s the twist though:

Real change only happens in one of two situations:

1. When we choose it deliberately

2. When life forces it on us

Everything else is just “thinking about changing.”

The uncomfortable bit?

Most people wait for the second one.

They wait for the health scare.

They wait for the relationship breakdown.

They wait for the financial hit.

They wait until the pressure becomes too loud to ignore.

That’s when you find out who you really are - because the people who transform don’t have

a Plan B anymore.

But here’s what I’ve been learning the past few months:

You don’t need to wait for a crisis to change.

You can choose it deliberately.

You can build it intentionally.

You can create momentum on purpose.

And when you do, something shifts.

You stop being reactive.

You start becoming someone who moves before the pain arrives.

You learn to lead yourself, not be dragged by circumstances.

That’s the version of you that your future depends on.

That’s the version your kids watch.

That’s the version that gets out of the loop you’ve been stuck in for years.

Real change isn’t a moment.

It’s a decision.

And sometimes the bravest thing you can do is to stop waiting for life to force your hand -

and choose it yourself.

There’s a very specific type of pressure that shows up in life.

Not the pretend stuff.

Not the “stress of a busy week.”

Not the “I’ve got a few things on.”

I mean the real kind.

The kind that hits without asking.

The kind that doesn’t pause for breath.

The kind that strips you back to who you really are, not who you say you are.

And I’ve had plenty of that kind over the last couple of years.

Financial pressure.

Family pressure.

Identity pressure.

Performance pressure.

Trying to carry everything at once - and still show up in all the roles that matter.

What I’ve realised in all of this is simple, but it’s taken me a long time to fully understand: